Divine Romance

It has been over a year and a half since we got married.  I will not lie in saying it has been easy.  It has been a challenge and there are days I don't want to work on it. But today we were listening to the song Divine Romance and it brought me back to the day we read our vows. Our good friend played this song during communion and  Jessica wrote a great blog about the communion which describes the moment pretty well, but what it doesn't say are the thoughts that were going through my head.   And I was again reminded by how much that moment meant.  It was perfect in the idiosyncrasies that it was.

I will also be honest in saying that I have deeply struggled with my faith.  I am slow to say I am a Christian and quick to admit my liberal views.  But in that moment of communion I felt my walls drop.  We had no idea that Jess, Seth and Sy would be standing there with us and their presence gave me the burst of joy and insight to fully realize the Love of God.

I felt a sense of peace; excited to be as I am in front of friends and family, many of which may disagree with my beliefs.  I felt proud because I know the love and respect they have for me, proud because there was a man looking in my eyes saying he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, proud because of the love I found for myself, and proud from the incredible love I felt from God.  In that moment I was not ashamed or confused by what it means to call myself a Christian.

To start our marriage within that space of confidence and love I am forever thankful. This trip has brought us to new understandings of what it takes to selflessly love each other.  And in more than one way we have failed but we have grace.  We are slowly learning what it takes to be more loving to each other, those around us, ourselves and God.  It is a lot of work.  I have to remind myself often to be gracious of my thoughts and actions but I am so thankful for moments like this where I remember the beautiful foundation that we share.